Proper 11 B + Defeating shame + 7.11.21
M. Campbell-Langdell
All Santos, Oxnard
(2 Samuel 6:1–5,
12b–19; Psalm 24; Ephesians 1:3–14; St Mark 6:14–29)
Ps. 24:3-4a:
Who can ascend the hill of the Lord? and who can stand in his holy place? Those
who have clean hands and a pure heart….
Those who have clean hands and a pure heart, the psalmist
says, are closest to God. But in the complicated world we live in, how can we
have clean hands and a pure heart? We can do our best to make our outward
actions in line with God’s love and mercy, but what about the shame that
sometimes resides in our heart and holds us back?
In the recent Disney movie “Luca,” we are introduced to a sea creature who
meets a friend who lives on the island near his ocean home. He learns that when
he gets out of the ocean and onto land, he looks like a human child. But he is
afraid, because the humans in the town near the ocean fear and hunt sea
creatures. His friend encourages him to be brave. First, they have an adventure
trying to build a motorized contraption. And then as they explore the human
town to find out how to get a Vespa. His friend Alberto tells him that the
voice inside that tells him he can’t do something is called “Bruno” and that he
must tell “Bruno” to be quiet so he can rise to challenges. There is much in
the movie about being accepted for who you are and I recommend it to you. I
think it is especially timely for disability pride month. And this story about
quieting the doubting voice within resonated with me as I pondered the passages
for today.
Because, the more I looked at the passages, the more they spoke to me of men
and shame and the different ways we deal with shame in our culture. Sociologist
and author/speaker Brené Brown has written a lot about shame
in her books, but she acknowledges that for a long time her work was focused on
women. Women’s shame often has to do with not feeling “enough” – pretty enough,
successful enough, attractive enough to our partners, etcetera. But Brown
mentions a moment when she woke up to the need to learn about the shame that
men experience. (I must interject here that these categories might not work as
well for non-binary folx so please take what does work for you- perhaps it is a
mix of both.) A man came up to her at an event and challenged her to learn more
about men and shame. And when she did, she found out that for men, shame was
often associated with being perceived as a failure, weak, unable to handle
situations or emotions, or wrong.[1]
So how do the men in today’s passages experience and/or respond
to shame?
Let us begin with David. Now, David is a very complex
character. He is beloved of God, and shows courageous leadership. He also has a
dismal track record with how he treats women and sometimes he is not a faithful
leader of his military. He makes mistakes and learns from them at great cost.
Suffice it to say that Michal, his wife, now replaced by some younger models,
might have had various reasons to be disgruntled with David. But setting some
of that aside, this scene is interesting on so many levels. David sets up the
new capital in Jerusalem, wants to center God in the new capital by moving the
ark of God there. This is dangerous stuff and in the missing verses we learn
that the power of the ark even kills a person when it is touched directly upon
righting it. But David proceeds to transport it, now very carefully, with
sacrifices every so often, and he comes into the city dancing before it. Now it
is possible that his dance may not have seemed seemly for a king. Michal, a
princess since birth, may have seen this as below his dignity. And so she
publicly scoffed him, attempting to shame him. From what we can tell, David is
so moved by God that he is not much moved by the shame. For all of his faults,
he remains centered on God.
Now Herod’s story is quite different. Herod, unlike David,
was not divinely anointed by a prophet, but had acquired his might to the
throne through what some called dubious circumstances. So he was already set up
to be motivated by shame rather than God’s justice and compassion. So when John
the Baptist shamed Herodias and him for getting together, John the Baptist made
Herod appear wrong. And Herodias may have feared that Herod would appear weak
because although he had arrested John the Baptist, he quite liked to listen to
him and was not willing to go any further in removing him on his own. So
Herodias took an opportunity when Salome danced for the court to turn a trifle
– a passing word of praise –into a direct political action. And Herod would
have been publicly shamed if he had broken his word, however fleeting, to give
Salome whatever she wished. So in this gruesome display of the danger of shame,
John the Baptist is killed, his head the last dish of the banquet.
Now John the Baptist’s disciples show us another way in just
a few verses. We do not know if they were a mixed group as Jesus’ was or mostly
men. But we do hear: “When his disciples heard about it, they came and took his
body, and laid it in a tomb.” In just a few words, we see a different way. Instead
of taking life, or not caring for their leader due to shame or fear of failure,
John’s disciples gather him and bury him. They show compassion in a world where
cruelty reigns. Somehow it is fitting that even in death, John the Baptist,
through his disciples, points us towards Jesus, and Jesus’ way of love and
compassion. You might rightly point out that John the Baptist himself did not
model that sense of compassion when he publicly shamed Herod, and it is true
that had Herod not been so shame motivated that might not have been necessary.
Jesus shows us another way once again when we declines to shame the woman
caught in adultery. Once again, John is great, but points to Jesus who is
greater.
Because our humanity is our strength, not our weakness. And when
we acknowledge that, compassion reigns. In the movie “Luca,” at one point, the
two sea creature kids are revealed after they win the race. And instead of
capturing, injuring or killing them, their human friend’s father declares them
the winners of the race. And despite a bit of resistance, they are accepted,
and a couple of local “ladies” come out as fellow sea creatures. Responding to
perceived weakness and finding strength are ways of showing compassion. This is
Jesus’ way.
Moving away from shame and towards wholeness in this way may
look like:
-Acknowledging our church’s role in the residential schools
that caused harm to our indigenous siblings in the US and Canada.
-Reaching out in solidarity to the people of Haiti whether in
prayer or otherwise to respond in compassion at the loss of their president.
-Prayers for those in FL who have lost loved ones, and honest
conversations about building safety and whether our structures are truly safe.
-Seeing strength and not weakness in our siblings with
disabilities and different abilities.
You may think of many more. But how can we look to others and
most importantly inside ourselves and find compassion rather than shame today?
Can we forgive ourselves when we make choices based on fear and shame? That is
a step towards better choices in the future. Let us remember that when we come
to the altar, ready to amend our life, then are we like those with our hands
clean and our hearts pure, ready to begin anew in the holy presence. Ready for
a life of abundant grace! Amen.
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