Proper 18 (B) + Civil Discourse + 9.9.18

M. Campbell-Langdell

All Santos, Oxnard

(Proverbs 22:1–2, 8–9, 22–23; Ps. 125; James 2:1–10, (11–13), 14–17; St Mark 7:24–37)

“The rich and the poor have this in common:
the Lord is the maker of them all.” (Proverbs 22:2 NRSV)

God has made each one of us, and although some may think some people are created better than another, it is not so - we are all created by the same God. All of us are equal in God's sight. It is a humbling thought.

There is something all parents - and the people who work with and truly love children and young people – have in common: a desire to protect their children. It doesn't matter if it costs you. It is almost instinctive, at the root of our basic and animal being, we respond by trying to protect the young ones whom we love.

Pastor Alene and I enjoy a television program called "Madam Secretary" and we are catching up on old episodes. We have just seen one in which a character called Nadine, who has been separated from her son, receives a call from him. He is now an adult and living in Asia, and has a fiancé who is pregnant, but her name appears on a "do not fly" list due to a mistaken identity mix-up. So they cannot return together to the United States. Nadine goes to the governmental office where they clear up such mistakes and, although she is the chief of the staff of the Secretary of State of the United States, she has to beg the official from her heart to let her future daughter in law travel. She sees that the official has children. And tells him: "one day, they will be disappointed with you. And it's going to hurt so much. Then, you will do everything you can to help them in their time of need." ^[1]  In this moment, she is not a high level diplomat, she is a mother. Doing what she needs to for her kid.

This is how I see the Syrophoenician woman in today's reading. She is a mother, and has a need to help her child. And if she has to degrade herself to receive this help, she's going to do it. Up to letting a man call her a dog if it means he heals her daughter. Although Jesus was far, far from his home turf of Galilee--this woman has heard of him. And although she may not know that he is the Messiah, she knows that he is her best hope to heal her daughter. Yes, he calls her a dog, but she who is aware of her almost animal parental instincts, is perfectly positioned to remind him of the dignity of all of God’s creation, even that of the dogs that receive the crumbs the children let drop from the table. Because the grace of God is so great, there is more than enough for everyone. She is able to remind Jesus of that!

Now, Jesus is tired. He has been healing people, walking on water and feeding people. He has been criticized by the Pharisees because his disciples did not follow all the ritual rules of cleanliness. He just wants to rest. But even in Tyre and Sidon, people follow him. And I imagine that this is not his best day. He is exhausted when this lady asks for help. And he says, look, I have other people to heal, the people I was sent to serve. The people of Israel. I have to keep myself busy with their healing. And she reminds Jesus that by God's grace, he has the energy to heal all those who ask for his healing.

Some people think that if we say that Jesus changed his mind in this passage, that makes him less divine. But I think his openness to seeing a new way of being makes him seem more divine.

During the retreat we have been leading at Mount Calvary Monastery this weekend, we discussed civil discourse in the Episcopal Church and how we can have civil discourse with the people around us. And we heard a quote from a Rabbi called Steve Gutow who said that: "civility is simply demonstrating respect for the dignity of our fellow humans—even those humans with whom we have sharp disagreement. Civility is allowing others to speak, and having the humility to admit that we may have something to learn. Civility favors truth over cheap gain, and patience over knee-jerk judgment." ^[2]

Why do people have civil discourse? Beyond just being nice, it is because of our children and the hope of a shared future. Jesus and the Syrophoenician woman show us a kind of civil discourse in what we hear today in the Gospel of St. Mark, one that leads to a better future for all.

The Episcopal Public Policy Network suggests certain elements are key to having a civil conversation. They say that we must:
Show respect, listen deeply, speak for ourselves, try to understand, share talk time, speak with humility, show gratitude, suspend judgment, disagree and love, practice forgiveness, and pay attention to your thoughts and feelings. ^[3]

Now, how did Jesus and the Syrophoenician woman do with this?

"a woman whose little daughter had an unclean spirit immediately heard about him, and she came and bowed down at his feet. Now the woman was a Gentile, of Syrophoenician origin. She begged him to cast the demon out of her daughter (Mark 7:25-26)."
The woman definitely shows respect. Jesus does not show much respect at the beginning of the conversation, but eventually he begins to show respect.

Listen well: "He said to her, ‘Let the children be fed first, for it is not fair to take the children’s food and throw it to the dogs.’

But she answered him, “Sir, even the dogs under the table eat the children’s crumbs (Mark 7:27-28).’"
We can see that the woman listened deeply, because although what Jesus says looks like a 'no,' she listens to the grace of God hidden in his words.

Then when Jesus says: "’for saying that, you may go—the demon has left your daughter (Mark 7:29),’” we hear that Jesus has truly heard the woman and given her her heart’s desire. Does each speak for themself? Of course. The woman speaks her truth and Jesus from his point of view. At first we see the woman trying to understand Jesus a little more than he her, but eventually they meet at a point of understanding.

They share talk time. And speaking of humility, we see a not-so-good example of this when Jesus compares the woman to a dog, but we see an amazing example of humility in how she responds to what might have felt like a slur at that time.

We do not know from the text if the woman showed gratitude at the time, but I can't imagine that she would not do so. A good reminder to show gratitude, whether it is recorded or not.

Do they suspend judgment? At the beginning we do not see an example of this, but in the end, they do exactly that. They suspend judgment, and Jesus and the woman together open the way to share healing and the good news to all the peoples of the world.

We see the woman practice disagreement and love well here because she speaks with Jesus with respect at the same time as she expresses a completely different worldview to his.

We don't know if they practiced forgiveness but I'd say the biggest forgiveness is found in receiving and giving healing, which is what happens here. Finally, they are very clear about their emotions and personal thoughts.
What can we learn from Jesus and the Syrophoenician woman in this passage from Mark? I think we can look to Jesus and the Syrophoenician woman as examples of how speaking across differences can open up avenues for all of us, for healing and salvation! In this time of so much dissent, what an example this passage gives us for daring to speak, even with those we feel at odds. Because we know that doing so opens the way of salvation to all people. Thanks be to God!

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^[1] https://tvline.com/2017/10/22/madam-secretary-bebe-neuwirth-leaving-exit-nadine/. Loose paraphrase.

^[2] EPPN Lenten Series 2018, https://cqrcengage.com/episcopal/file/b4ASHzViixy/EPPN%20Lenten%20Series%202018.pdf , p. 9.

^[3] Ibid, 11-12.