Sabbatical Update - Week 4!

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 Sabbatical - thoughts on sabbathing



This has been a more reflective week as I have taken time to do some things around the house that have not been tended to, gotten to try a new flow yoga class and a new juice bar, and visit online with some friends and work on my intercultural ministry class with another friend. I have also been able to step briefly out of sabbatical mode (and then back in!) in order to prepare for a service for Dave Matthews that was preplanned early in my sabbatical to take place right before my vacation time and after my retreat time.

I have been thinking a lot about sabbatical time. Coming from the root word, "sabbath," while for academics it means rest and time to dig deep into a project; for clergy it often means to rest, recover and remember who we are during a time set aside from the responsibilities of ministry. We don't cease to be priests in this time, and I have even requested some prayer requests so I can pray for folks, especially as I enter silent retreat tomorrow for a week. But I for one need time to remember who I am unfettered by schedule and church tasks/interactions. Because even with good boundaries, interactions do not stop, even sometimes on days off or vacation, because pastoral needs don't follow a set schedule. I do my best to live a life of balance, and yet so much of my identity can be caught up in pastoring, it is good to remember who I am separate from my identity as a pastor. That I live by an ocean and can try new things. I have not been supremely creative during my downtime, but have gotten in much meditation, reading, thinking and visiting with folks, which were my primary foci. 

Hopefully there is time for creative expression too, but I have realized it is also okay not to be super productive. It is okay to sit in stillness and dream or listen to a good book while I do the laundry. My daughter described me as "all relaxed" after returning from Japan. I think the travel was good for me, to get me into another mode. But mostly it is about truly being present to God and myself so I can be authentically present to others. For now, to those of my family and friends who are hopefully seeing me a bit more, and then after this time, to find a new balance of presence in the congregation and in other aspects of my life. I get to say "yes" to things that would normally be off-limits, such as a Saturday afternoon movie screening with my father today.

I used to think that sabbatical meant a total disconnect in terms of communication, and sometimes that is necessary. I am so grateful for those who have honored my time away. At the same time, as I have met with my spiritual director, I have realized it is also more about the space I am in than the things I do or do not do.

Additionally, I debated how involved to be in the recent episcopal consecration events. In many ways those are "on" activities for a clergy person. However, as I reflected on the friendship I have built with +Antonio G L over the years working together in Latino ministry, I realized it was really important for me to be present at at least one event as his friend. So, I picked the one event it would have been very hard for me to make in my normal schedule, the Walk for Love and Truth and the Installation (I saw them as part of a whole). Normally, making it to the cathedral/downtown area by 1pm for a 1:15 shuttle would have been basically impossible without coverage of our second service, but last Sunday that was my main task, and I even got to go have a brief lunch with my parents on the way. It meant so much to be a part of the walk and installation as we lifted up not only Antonio but our hopes for what he will do in collaboration with the diocese. I also had the energy for a long walk in addition to the drive!

As I enter silent retreat tomorrow, I am going to honor the time by as much as possible being totally disconnected from media, but I will be praying for all the prayers that have been sent to me in recent times. I continue to give thanks for this time as I reconnect with my friendships with God, family and friends. I treasure my church community who has given this time to me. Hopefully you will find me a better priest!

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